Raising two children with autism was often challenging, but it was also an amazingly rewarding experience. It's natural to feel overwhelmed or frustrated at times, but it's important to remember to balance the positive focus on your child's strengths and accomplishments with the realistic focus of providing services and supports for their areas of challenge. Here are some tips for staying positive and maintaining a healthy perspective while raising a child with autism:
1. Focus on your child's strengths: Children with autism have unique abilities and gifts, and it's important to recognize and celebrate these. Focusing on your child's strengths can help to build their self-esteem and confidence, while creating a positive atmosphere at home. We made a point to comment on the amazing strengths of our sons. One of our sons was overwhelmed by enthusiastic praise and clapping. We found that smiling and giving a silent thumbs-up was the best way for him to receive praise. It also provided shared enjoyment which is so key for children with autism to experience.
2. Seek out support: Raising a child with autism can be isolating, and it's important to connect with others who understand what you're going through. Seek out support groups, therapy services, or other resources that can provide support and connection. If you are in the United State, apply for a Medicaid Waiver based on the diagnosis and not family income to fund many helpful services.
3. Practice self-care: It's important to take care of yourself and prioritize your own well-being. Take time for yourself, and do things that nourish your mind, body, and spirit. This can help to reduce stress, maintain a healthy perspective, and can ultimately help you to be a better parent to your child with autism. One of my favorites is a solid morning routine to start the day. Silence in the form of prayer (or meditation) while doing gentle stretches, visualization and affirmations said with the emotion felt when I am about to reach these goals, journaling gratitudes are all helpful places to start.
4. Be open to trying new approaches: Every child with autism is different, and what works for one child may not work for another. It can be helpful to be open to trying different strategies and approaches, and to be flexible and adaptable in your parenting style. We found using the sense of smell to quickly and gently calm meltdowns was a gamechanger for us. I like to recommend The Aroma Freedom Technique by Dr. Benjamin Perkus. It helps people overcome over blocks, negative thoughts and emotions.
5. Seek out professional help when needed: If you are struggling to stay positive or manage the challenges of raising a child with autism, it may be helpful to seek out professional support. A therapist or counselor can provide guidance and support to help you manage your emotions and navigate the challenges of parenting a child with autism.
6. Remember that every child is different: It's important to keep in mind that every child with autism is unique, and will have their own strengths, challenges, and needs. It's important to focus on your child's individual needs and to do what is best for them, rather than comparing them to other children. I found each of our sons with autism were unique with individual interests and strengths. They were definitely not two peas in a pod (similar to each other).
7. Celebrate small victories: Raising a child with autism can be a journey, and it's important to celebrate small victories along the way. Whether it's a new milestone or a small improvement in behavior, it's important to recognize and celebrate your child's progress. We even had some small parties with a small cake to celebrate some milestones such as weaning and toileting.
8. Stay positive and be patient: Above all, it's important to stay positive and be patient. Raising a child with autism can be challenging, and it's important to stay positive and supportive, and to be patient as you and your child navigate the journey together. You want to be able to resolve issues without creating new problems or emotional harm to the child, or unecessary guilt for the parents.
By staying positive and focused on your child's strengths and accomplishments, seeking out support and practicing self-care, and being open to trying new approaches, you can create a positive and nurturing environment for your child with autism, and support their growth and development. It's a journey, but with patience and positivity, you can help your child reach their full potential.
Anne is available to coach on any of these topics related to raising children with autism that exceed your expectations.
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